How to Give Platinum Feedback

 

If the golden rule is "Treat others as you want to be treated",

And the Platinum Rule is "Treat others as They want to be treated",

Then the Platinum Feedback Rule is:

Give others the feedback they want and need.

Here are three lessons I've learned through Toastmasters about how to give people the Platinum Feedback they want and need.

1. Be Sensitive.

Don't assume the person wants feedback. If you're giving a speech at Toastmasters you expect to be evaluated by your evaluator. You would also expect feedback during a performance review. But at other times we can be caught off guard by unsolicited advice. We may be distracted or in a bad mood, or in a rush to get somewhere and we are just not ready to hear a growth point right now!

After losing a speech contest one year I was not in the best head space. A well-meaning audience member proceeded to give me a list of growth points for which I was not ready. I just wanted to get out of there and have a good cry (!) but I was stuck hearing about everything I could have done differently. They may have been brilliant ideas but my emotional state made me completely tune it out.

When a person is not ready, they are not likely to be receptive to your feedback. How do you know if someone is open to receiving your feedback? I suggest: Ask. For example: "Would you be open to some feedback on this?", which gives them a way out.

Monitor the person's body language and facial expression as you're giving the feedback. If you observe that they are getting upset you may need to soften the language, or possibly back off altogether. Not every growth point needs to be said.

Tailor the feedback to the person's level of experience and their particular objective. Would you tell a five-year-old that their lemonade stand would do better by advertising on social media?  Or would you help them spell the word "lemonade" on their sign?

Don't call out errors in public (wherever possible). If your feedback is of a sensitive nature, wait until the appropriate moment to give it. For example, telling someone they've misspelled a word on their website could be done by email instead of in the comments section for all to see. In a speech evaluation, speak to the presenter privately if you think your comment may embarrass them.


2. Be Sincere.

Praise for the sake of praise does not help anyone. E.g. "I loved your whole speech. Everything about it was great. You had a great beginning, a great middle, and a great end. It’s one of the best speeches I’ve ever seen. I loved it! I just loved it!”

What did you love about it? What should I keep doing? What should I do differently? What should I try that I might not have thought of? When a person is primed and ready for a growth point, don't be afraid to give it!

What if you didn't "love" anything about it? Don't lie -but remain sensitive and respectful. My mentor taught me you can comment about what was interesting, memorable, or unusual. What caught your attention? Was the objective achieved? Don't forget Lesson 2- for a first-time speaker just getting up in front of an audience is an achievement worth noting.


3. Be Succinct.

Repeating yourself sounds insincere in the case of praise, and can come across as hostile in the case of repeated criticism, however constructive it may be. I have a tendency to provide too many examples where one example would be effective. I'm working on it!

Don't waste your time giving unwanted, unhelpful advice. Sensitive, sincere, and succinct feedback is a gift worth it's weight in platinum.