Feedback with Radical Candor

I was fortunate to attend a talk at my work last week about Radical Candor- a presentation based on what the speaker had learned from Kim Scott's book of the same name.

The theory is that the best feedback you can give is based on two things: Caring Personally and Challenging Directly. If you care but never say anything, (or if you sugarcoat the message) the person will never improve. If you tell someone to change but you have no empathy for them/ don't care if they actually improve, you'll just be a jerk. The simplicity of this message was an a-ha moment for me on two levels.

On the grid above, I tend more towards "Ruinous Empathy". I've rooted for the underdog, championed more causes than I have time for, and often tied myself in knots before an important conversation.. "What if the person takes this the wrong way?!" But I never considered my empathy could be potentially "ruinous". Without being brave enough to provide tough feedback I will never be the coach that I know I can be.

 

My second Aha! moment was the clarity of this message. I haven't even read the book yet (It's on my list!) but the graphic makes it crystal clear. The speaker's slides contained images from popular culture to help drive the message home. Ruinous Empathy was Michael Scott from The Office, and Obnoxious Aggression was Mr, Burns from The Simpsons.

 

I could have easily missed this presentation- I have a lot of work on my desk. But I was glad I made the time for it. I came away with motivation to be a better mentor, and a few ideas that could improve my next speech.